| | This weekend was suppose to be mostly busy with volunteering at the nursing home, setting paperwork up for school, and preparing for my big dental procedure Tuesday where they are extracting two of my four wisdom teeth. Why do they call them "wisdom" teeth if you really aren't any wiser? Or is a "wisdom" tooth like something that "smarts"... I know it's going to smart shortly after the surgery. Apparently one of the wisdom teeth are impacted, so there's another scar! I'm not really that worried though because honestly I opted to be put to sleep so not only will I not feel a thing, but I won't be coherent for a good amount of time after the procedure. I know when I went for surgery in February and they put me under for the operation I was out of it for another four hours after. I honestly cannot recall getting dressed, or walking out to mom's car. I guess it's like being really drunk, without violent vomiting. :D
So I was suppose to be busy doing the right thing, and Tim and I planned a little thing of our own for Friday night. We had wanted to see the new <u>Indiana Jones</u> or <u>Hulk 2</u>, but by the time he got home from work (at 7pmish) all the earlier playings were done. Since he was headed to NYC bright and early Saturday morning (4am) it wasn't a good idea to go to the 10pm showings. The movie went out the door when neither of us wanted to get up early and be out late, I guess we are getting older. Instead of the movies we went to Sears to check out the tool sales, when I saw a stud finder I couldn't resist and said "I wonder how many blondes bought one of those to find a new boyfriend?" we also went shopping for kitty and puppy food, as well as food for ourselves, then we stopped at Applebees where I had the new "Quesdilla Cheeseburger" and he had the "Brewtus Burger" (which is 10oz of meat... YECK) we also both got drinks with our dinner. I tried an Applebeetini, which was ok, but it certainly wasn't worth nearly 7.00. I've decided if I eat out I'll stick to coffee or diet soda (I'll go blind before I pay 7.00 for a god damn drink) Bars don't even rape your wallet that hard where drinks are concerned.
The dinner was pleasant, we talked for the first time in a long time. It's amazing how you can live with someone and barely say two words to each other. Tim and I had a very hard couple of months where we nearly broke up about eight times. In fact since we moved in together in September 2007 we've had nothing but problems, up until about three weeks ago, we were constantly fighting, we couldn't agree on anything, and every argument no matter what the subject became an "I'm done with this, it's over" discussion where we'd both think about going our separate ways. We both noticed the distance between each other, a rift was growing between us. It's like we became two different people. I know I was different, I had different ideas, different approaches to life, I became less tolerant about everything, I was looking for an argument and I was unhappy. Tim was actually feeling similar, and neither of us brought it up to the other because naturally both of us were blaming this that and the other thing, and not the real problem. That's why this conversation we had over a simple dinner at a simple everyday restaurant was such a monumental one for us... For the first time in maybe a year... Maybe longer, I realized I love everything about Tim, and despite his short comings and some of his poor choices I adore the fact that I know he is absolutely in love with me, and I want him to know every day for the rest of my life that I am just as crazy about him. I find joy in making him smile, and I love the way he does a silent laugh at some of the things I say. He smiles when I say certain things and deep down I know he's thinking "that's my girl" it's amazing how I was letting all of these simple things go because I was so stuck on the fact that I don't see certain progression forward.
Also, I have started making myself small daily goals to stay on top of all the things that made me "me" that I've lost touch with. In example my goals are to work on at least one piece of artwork a day for at least five minutes... Though I prefer to finish one piece of art at least every few days, once a week at the minimal. I also have a goal to write at least seven poems a week. (I've mentioned some of this already in blogs :D) I also want to keep my website constantly updated, spend time with friends as much as I can fit in, get to know someone who lives near me who keeps telling me "we need to hang out", so many things I should have done a long time ago, but I just kept pushing things off. Especially when I was so busy with work... But I refuse to let work take everything away from me that is me, I will make time for my artwork, poetry, website, friends, and life. I am a lot happier now then I was when I was making a lot more money and saving it... Not to say I don't want to make more money, but I don't want to make more money by sacrificing my entire youth to working 60 - 70 hours a week like I was at one time. :p
Oh... and while conversing Tim mentioned how someone female calls him monthly to "touch base" (I won't say her name because I doubt she'd want this mentioned publicly despite the truth or validity of it) in any case... Tim mentioned how the last time she called him she told him her husband beats her. Personally if he does, shouldn't she be calling the cops and not him? And why is she still with him with TWO kids? The only other explanation is that she's saying it just to get attention hoping since her and him did have "something" a while ago that he'd come to her rescue and make her feel special or something... Either way, I'll never understand the things some people do.
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| | Posted 6/14/2008 4:33 PM - 29 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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