nipplemaniea's Xanga

latest activities consist of jack and ...

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:33:10 GMT

This weekend was suppose to be mostly busy with volunteering at the nursing home, setting paperwork up for school, and preparing for my big dental procedure Tuesday where they are extracting two of my four wisdom teeth. Why do they call them "wisdom" teeth if you really aren't any wiser? Or is a "wisdom" tooth like something that "smarts"... I know it's going to smart shortly after the surgery. Apparently one of the wisdom teeth are impacted, so there's another scar! I'm not really that worried though because honestly I opted to be put to sleep so not only will I not feel a thing, but I won't be coherent for a good amount of time after the procedure. I know when I went for surgery in February and they put me under for the operation I was out of it for another four hours after. I honestly cannot recall getting dressed, or walking out to mom's car. I guess it's like being really drunk, without violent vomiting. :D

So I was suppose to be busy doing the right thing, and Tim and I planned a little thing of our own for Friday night. We had wanted to see the new <u>Indiana Jones</u> or <u>Hulk 2</u>, but by the time he got home from work (at 7pmish) all the earlier playings were done. Since he was headed to NYC bright and early Saturday morning (4am) it wasn't a good idea to go to the 10pm showings. The movie went out the door when neither of us wanted to get up early and be out late, I guess we are getting older. Instead of the movies we went to Sears to check out the tool sales, when I saw a stud finder I couldn't resist and said "I wonder how many blondes bought one of those to find a new boyfriend?" we also went shopping for kitty and puppy food, as well as food for ourselves, then we stopped at Applebees where I had the new "Quesdilla Cheeseburger" and he had the "Brewtus Burger" (which is 10oz of meat... YECK) we also both got drinks with our dinner. I tried an Applebeetini, which was ok, but it certainly wasn't worth nearly 7.00. I've decided if I eat out I'll stick to coffee or diet soda (I'll go blind before I pay 7.00 for a god damn drink) Bars don't even rape your wallet that hard where drinks are concerned.

The dinner was pleasant, we talked for the first time in a long time. It's amazing how you can live with someone and barely say two words to each other. Tim and I had a very hard couple of months where we nearly broke up about eight times. In fact since we moved in together in September 2007 we've had nothing but problems, up until about three weeks ago, we were constantly fighting, we couldn't agree on anything, and every argument no matter what the subject became an "I'm done with this, it's over" discussion where we'd both think about going our separate ways. We both noticed the distance between each other, a rift was growing between us. It's like we became two different people. I know I was different, I had different ideas, different approaches to life, I became less tolerant about everything, I was looking for an argument and I was unhappy. Tim was actually feeling similar, and neither of us brought it up to the other because naturally both of us were blaming this that and the other thing, and not the real problem. That's why this conversation we had over a simple dinner at a simple everyday restaurant was such a monumental one for us... For the first time in maybe a year... Maybe longer, I realized I love everything about Tim, and despite his short comings and some of his poor choices I adore the fact that I know he is absolutely in love with me, and I want him to know every day for the rest of my life that I am just as crazy about him. I find joy in making him smile, and I love the way he does a silent laugh at some of the things I say. He smiles when I say certain things and deep down I know he's thinking "that's my girl" it's amazing how I was letting all of these simple things go because I was so stuck on the fact that I don't see certain progression forward.

Also, I have started making myself small daily goals to stay on top of all the things that made me "me" that I've lost touch with. In example my goals are to work on at least one piece of artwork a day for at least five minutes... Though I prefer to finish one piece of art at least every few days, once a week at the minimal. I also have a goal to write at least seven poems a week. (I've mentioned some of this already in blogs :D) I also want to keep my website constantly updated, spend time with friends as much as I can fit in, get to know someone who lives near me who keeps telling me "we need to hang out", so many things I should have done a long time ago, but I just kept pushing things off. Especially when I was so busy with work... But I refuse to let work take everything away from me that is me, I will make time for my artwork, poetry, website, friends, and life. I am a lot happier now then I was when I was making a lot more money and saving it... Not to say I don't want to make more money, but I don't want to make more money by sacrificing my entire youth to working 60 - 70 hours a week like I was at one time. :p

Oh... and while conversing Tim mentioned how someone female calls him monthly to "touch base" (I won't say her name because I doubt she'd want this mentioned publicly despite the truth or validity of it) in any case... Tim mentioned how the last time she called him she told him her husband beats her. Personally if he does, shouldn't she be calling the cops and not him? And why is she still with him with TWO kids? The only other explanation is that she's saying it just to get attention hoping since her and him did have "something" a while ago that he'd come to her rescue and make her feel special or something... Either way, I'll never understand the things some people do.

www.beautifullyhorrible.net updates

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:29:01 GMT

General Info: With increased hits to my website, myspace, fotki, and deviant because of youtube and other things a lot of people have been bringing to my attention the lack of working links on my website. Let me be the first to say I know that many of the links are not working right now, they do not work - or are only loading source code - because when I transferred them from the old site at o-f.com for some reason the coding was lost in translation. I have been planning (for about three months) to sit down and go through page by page to correct the linking/loading errors, but as you see I haven't gotten that far. I have asked a few people, whom asked me first, if they wanted to take over management of the website... But finally someone is helping, thank you so much for your support John!

New Poems: Yes! I have written new poems, and I'm trying to sit down and write at least seven poems a week. I use to have goals set to write poems before and then I sort of lost ... touch, with poetry. But I feel that poetic spark coming back, like the artistic one... So I'm using it while it's there. These Poems were Written May 11, 2008
title: EYES AT ME
I must be dangerous to you
A scary sight to see
Visions lacking mercy
Or the memorance of memory.

A burden on your past
Sucking out your soul
Biting down so hard
You just can't keep control.

I know what you hide
And all you try to deny
The thing you truly are
Covered by a scar.

I dig beneath your surface
Scratching across your skin
Finding your great mistakes
As they surface from within.

Many think this is gibberish
A rant lacking significance
But you know who I see
Reflecting in your eyes at me.

Title: WITH A KISS
I kept holding on even through the pain
Everyone says I'm a masochoist
And for this outcome only I am to blame.

But I loved you then,
and love you now
And there is no fine print on this wall;
So true I stand beside you through it all...
I loved you
And always will
Who you are then
Who you are still.

They'd never understand
They cannot comprehend
A love forever has no end.
Though my strength is fleeting and my grip weak
I see you slipping in my own defeat
My knees begin to crumble
This heart shall truly break
But I cannot give up my love for you to take.
Understand this is for us and for my sake.

I will always love you
Have always loved you
Who you were
Who you are
It is beyond them
Why we cannot end
And my love I continue to send.

My words seem as weak as my hold on you
As I sit and say these things so true
If only then I really decided I knew
About the devil within me and you
Would I still fight for this
Or would I have parted with a kiss?

Title: VICES
Shaking
caffiene afliction
Breathing
smoke inhaled
Addiction
temporary satisfaction
Needles
pricking skin
Diesised
mortal sin
Complications
through action
Dying
lucky fraction
Giving
Up yourself
Selling
your soul
Never
In control.New Pictures to Fotki
Pics of Me You will find that "pictures of me" have changed. I made almost all of my pics private now, and only a select few public. I do however have a few new pics added. These pics are a concept about Romanticizing Marilyn... The beautiful actress who had the infamous wind up her skirt pic :D. You can see when you view the pics below how they can be called that. I also have a few other light and color pics that I believe came out well. My "Concepts Through People" folder is where they will be moved too, it is also a locked folder now. Join the yahoo group to get updates on the new password (this is just so I can moniter who is viewing my stuff.) click here to view my yahoo group

To view the "Select Pics of Me" with new pics in it: click here
To view "COncepts Through People" (password protected): click here

New "Babes Folder" EMILY PROCTOR: The beautiful babe from CSI: Miami that really knows her shiznit. Come on, you know you love her :p. Below are a select few pics of her... More in the folder listed below.

To view "Emily Proctors" gallery on my Fotki: click here

New YouTube Videos
My Abs: Below are two videos which focus on my abs, now that I've gotten them near where I want them to be. As a friend has said I've been "working out like a Spartan" the last few months, and I am pretty well pleased with the results. My youtube vids are just proof that I'm real, because dispite all of my "webcam/digital proof pics" people still question me. Plus, I love to dance.. I may not be the best dancer, but I find artistic joy in trying to find the movement to go with the lyrics.

Dancing to "Made of Scars: Because the idea that scars define us and give us character is one I embrace completely. :D Plus the band Stone Sour is one of my favorite bands... Corey Taylor is a god.

Dancing to "Fantasy": As requested. :D The song is by Ludacris.

Dancing to "Sexy Back": An awesome cover (better than the original) by Rivethead.
ACI have other videos too, but I don't feel like posting them today. Also I decided to no longer use my DeadJournal blog as my main webpage anymore because... DeadJournal sucks and won't let me post certain codes :p. But I can live with that.

Other Ways To Contact or Connect with me: Serena @ MySpace | Serena @ DeviantArt | Serena @ Fotki | Serena @ YouTube | Serena @ DeadJournal | Serena @ Xanga | Serena's Yahoo Group AND if you want to email me, please send emails too thenecessaryevil@gmail.com

babies and stuff

Sun, 11 May 2008 15:53:32 GMT

So Tim and I went to Rutland the other day to visit with a few friends who just had a baby. Tim was a lot more thrilled then I was. I did hold the baby, and I have to say it was wonderful to hold a little baby again, and the little boy was absolutely beautiful. However, as nice as it was I realize all the work and requirements that go with having a baby and I also know how hard that would be to fit into my life especially with the goals I have in mind (nursing school, and a career that eventually leads to RN at the Rutland hospital lol) however... He was going on and on about how much he wants one now. Granted he did say "Well I can wait but I really really want one." It seems the idea of having a child may not be priority in his life, however it certainly crosses his mind very often. I guess due to my past and history and what happened to me where babies are concerned I'm a bit jaded to the whole idea, and will not get into my many fears about having children... But, let's put it this way

I've learned my lesson. As much as I do want one more child, and I hope it's a son.... I can certainly wait until I am financially ready, and naturally MARRIAGE COMES FIRST. I have already told Tim if we should end up in a position where a baby came unexpected I'd better see a ring on my finger before the child is born, and if he will not marry me even then, then obviously he doesn't love me enough and we will just have to go our separate ways. I never use to believe in marriage, but I now understand the purpose of marriage is to keep everyone honest... :D

We ate at the 99 after and we ran into Erica, a girl I know, it was her birthday (she just turned 23) so it's a small world after all. :D

updates www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - video

Fri, 09 May 2008 01:17:24 GMT

Just another video - my mother told me Toby Keith's "She's a hottie" or just "hottie" was my song, and I've been playing with movie maker so... Why the hell not? My dancing is pretty bad lol, but hey, you dance with a twisted ankle :p besides, it's about fun ;)

www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - Updates

Tue, 06 May 2008 21:57:50 GMT

General Info: I am working on an "Art to do list", I had it started partially but am going to wait until I get all of the images collected for my art pieces before I actually post the list. I cannot find a few poems I wrote a couple of months ago that I had jotted down in my Sudoku book while I was working a close at Mobil, I swore I had the book in my car, however when I looked for it the other day since I had time to type them out I couldn't find it. I'm not sure if these are more poems to add to the "lost and gone forever" catagory... or if in due time they'll come back to me. :D I guess only time will tell that one. I've been really busy trying to keep new things coming, and am attempting to start fixing the links on my main website beautifullyhorrible.net. I am going to be renewing the domain name, and buying webspace through bravenet to remove all of the ad's... Without the ad's I won't have so many upset visitors, plus no one wants to constantly stare at pop ups and other crap.... Furthermore to get a domain without ad's is only a few dollars more a year, so why the hell not? I'm in a good mood, I might as well go with it. The sun has been out and I recently devloped what I can only call sun poisoning. If the condition doesn't clear up in another week I'll have to see a dermatologist, I have very sensitive and pale skin so it wouldn't be a surprise if the sun did serious damage to my skin. Especially since the "spring sun" is apparantly the worst sun to expose yourself too... And I did it for a week straight. :) I'm hoping everything follows course and clears up on it's own. My friend Katherine suggested benadryl, so I've been trying it. So far nothing's changed, but skin takes time to heal.
New Section - Videos: I'm not big on youtube, and mostly watch music video's on it since people have directed it to me as of late. However my yahoo group doesn't have much storage and I have it pretty well full because of vid's and files at this point. So I decided to move all of my vid's, new and old, to youtube just so I can actually store old ones, and start doing some new ones. The quality seems a little lost through youtube sadly... I also have read some of the comments people leave for people and am amazed at how mean, cruel, and annoying people can be. I guess that's just the way society has to be, even in the "cyber world". Anyway, here are the video ads to youtube.
Taken May 5th 2008 this is the newest vid from my digital camera, the rest are webcam.

Taken May 3, 2008 - This one I actually edited with moviemaker - it was fun. The song is HINDER - GET STONED

Taken May 1, 2008

New Art Folder Added to Fotki
2008 Art Finally Created (Now featuring Laura Prepon, Mira Sorvino, and Let the Bodies...) click here to view To view my "works in progress" webcam pics go here: click here to view folder

Good Court : Good People

Tue, 06 May 2008 21:25:10 GMT

I am very happy with the circumstances of court, I am also very happy that it's over with for a period of time. I have been discussing nursing school, and working at the hospital with a few of the people at the nursing home. Ryan in particular has been very helpful. He explained the full benefits of working at the nursing home, and someone else mentioned how it's easier to get your LPN out of the way, then work up to an RN and work at the hospital the entire time. A respectable job, with respectable pay, and excellent benefits. You can't beat it. Unfortanitly I have to wait until September 2009 to enroll in the program because I missed this years enrollment, I am trying to find a loop hole, or another program however I am not really finding any now. I really wanted to have my career up and off it's feet before 2009, but you do what you have to do. Either way with court taken care of and things working smoothly I am working towards goals I had forgotten about wanting to obtain 5 years ago when this whole mess started. A weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and I feel that I am finally doing everything the right way. It's a wonderful feeling.

I had a full conversation with Tim reguarding the afore mentioned circumstances, it was what I assumed it would be to start, but in the end we were both laughing and cuddling. It's amazing how even now sometimes I see the 19 year old kid I met three years ago, and I know when he looks at me at times he sees the 21 year old that made him seriously start approaching his life and the world... We've grown so far in so many ways, but in other ways we've certainly grown apart. I guess life and relationships are just work no matter what you slice it, though there's definitely work that's more enjoyable. At least Tim is around for a few days, he's been spending a lot of time in NYC and I've certainly had the "lonely bug"... But it's given me time to work on art, poetry, and maybe even approach my website that I've been meaning to fix for nearly a year now. I have to renew my domain before I forget too, the payment for that is due in June, I believe I'll just be buying domain/webspace on Bravenet and leave o-f permanently... Bravenet offers so much more for the little bit extra they're asking.

Then there's Ryan, a new friend I've made over the last few months. Ryan is probably the closest local friend I have now, minus maybe Kim who would be a much better friend if I could actually spend quality time with her. The problem with not having a phone (and not being in a big rush to get one, I'm happy with just the internet honestly) is people really can't get ahold of you and it makes you very hard to hang out with. Ryan though is like a person I feel I can tell almost anything and I know that it won't be a problem in any way, shape, or form. He's the kind of friend you know will be a great person to have in your life. He's not my usual friend either, because unlike most of the "typical" people in this area he's a college student, and I can actually have intelligent conversations with him. You do not realize how much you miss having a conversation about things that are deeper than "let's go muddin'" until you're with someone that you can actually discuss Greek Mythology, or the History channel's 10K BC with. He is vibrant, interesting, intelligent, and he's younger (19) which brings out the kid in me I've missed so much. A lot of people that know him and I caution me because he's slightly interested beyond the friendship, but the truth is due to our age gap and the type we like I know in time Ryan will realize what I already know - we're great friends, but something beyond that wouldn't be necessary. Besides we have fun together, and that's what makes a friendship.

We spent last night shopping, and just driving (despite the cost of gas), and then we hung out and talked in his car before we brought the grocieries in for a friend he was helping out. It was pleasent, there was no "pressure" because we could talk about anything, and we both said we were becoming great friends. :)

Kitten Sittin'

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:55:00 GMT

So there is going to be a new addition to Tim and I's happy family, a now two day old kitten that was abandoned by it's mother. Between mom, grandma, and myself I'm sure it has plenty of mothers. I have some extra time (for now) so I am helping them keep the little bugger going, furthermore since mom has plenty of cat's and I only have one who is predominantly outside I am taking the kitten myself. Her name is "Yoda", an odd name I know however she looks just like Yoda and she wiggles her ears and tail whenever she nurses. She is absolutely adorable, be sure to see pictures of her when she's a little older and not so young and delicate. For now we are just concerned with making sure she is happy and healthy.

I have spent more time volunteering at the nursing home, but still barely there as of late either. I am broke, and the job hunt isn't going well at all. This are is seriously lacking for work availability, plus most of the jobs that are looking for employees are a) seasonal b) minimum wage c) all the way out in Glens Falls and/or Lake George. 40 - 50 minutes of driving at nearly 4.00 a gallon isn't worth minimum wage, but with that aside I do not have a car and I do not have a license, so here I am back to the same options as before... Local, though I am trying for part time stuff out there anyway, because who knows.

Thank goodness for Tim though, he has been such a help - he is really stepping up and helping and supporting me (literally), not only has he stepped up financially but he is pressing me to go to Nursing School, so I put in the paperwork for the both of us. One of the workers from the nursing home has told me that the program is one year long, and that entry level jobs offer a considerable amount of Insurance - including 45K life insurance (to start) full vision, full dental, and a good majority of major and basic medical. The only thing that's lacking on the general insurance plans is the medication subscriptions, but guess what? I do not believe in medications anyway, at least not beyond over the counter pain killers, midol, and major medical surgery prescriptions for pain. I am a firm believer this country is over-medicated and people really need to stop trying to escape reality, and embrace the age old idea that happiness is truly a state of mind you create for yourself. Oh! And for all those thinking I am "settling" for this career choice, you are so wrong. I am planning on going for RN with a BS, that way I can eventually run and manage my own Nursing home, or work in administrative areas at a hospital. I have decided that helping people will make me feel like I have done something special and unique with my life.

I am still bothered by the information I have found out about Tim, and really want to just sit down and understand his reasoning, but I haven't had a chance too yet. He spent the last week in NYC and actually just got home last night. He went out to play cards, and I stayed home with the kitten (by choice), I do not feel like doing much of anything really until I have a job and have set up everything to move on with my life. I will not be stuck at a dead end job the rest of my life, and I know as long as I keep pushing forward and doing the right thing the courts will not punish me for the choice of Midway Oil Corp.

Mudfest 2008

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 20:50:27 GMT

Granville's Mudfest, also the Mudfest ran by the boyfriend's mother, and naturally him and his family. This was the first year I actually got to attend the event, though it's been going on since I've been with him. Every year I've had to work the days of Mudfest, accept the first year and I just didn't know enough people to go then. This year I went with a sprained ankle though, so I basically stood nursing the sore ankle, but it was nice to see people I haven't seen in forever - including Tim's co-workers, the same ones we use to live with. I was surprised at how happy I was to see them, I actually did have a lot of good times staying with his co-workers, the bachelour life is pretty fun. Though truthfully I pretty much stayed out of the way, minus that I cleaned (because I love to clean) and watched certain TV programs with them.

I also ran into Kim, Kim is my age and her and I have always hit it off very well. We ended up chatting for a good while, but I won't go into much detail about the conversation and other things of that nature because our business is our business, but in the mix of talking and having a great time (we also took a very fun picture!) in any case I found out Tim hasn't been completely honest with me AGAIN. This makes about the third time I've caught him denying doing something, but then he has actually done it. In this case it was going to a strip club (one time admitted, who knows how many times...) Considering Tim's co-workers (all being single for the most part) it wasn't a surprise that he had gone. What surprised me is that when I asked him hundreds of times in the past, assuming he had, he denied it toothe and nail. It really broke my heart to learn that he has yet again lied to me.

Why are most men so afraid of honesty? Why is it even when I tell him "I don't care" he automatically assumes I am like one of those lifetime women that's going to go off the deepend if I find out he did go after all. Apparently he isn't only not honest with me on some important issues for fear of making me angry, but he also doesn't believe what I am telling him. Perhaps that's why when I asked him about it and he didn't deny it, I felt my heart sink into my stomach and do flip flops. When you learn three years of believing your relationship to be secure, safe, open, and loving... Then you find out your boyfriend hasn't been honest it makes you rethink everything.

In example
When he comes home and he gives you a big hug that lingers forever, and a kiss... You wonder if he only did that because he felt guilty because he just washed glitter from a stripper out of his hair.

Or when he writes a note telling you he loves you, you wonder if he only did it because he just spent rent money on a lap dance.

When he gives you presents at random times, you wonder now if he did that because deep down he felt guilty about just not saying no to the offer of going to the strip club in the first place.

But worst of all you wonder with every kiss, and every hug...
what else do I not know? Is there anything else? If there is something else will he tell me? Will I find out?

What is love without trust.

as oposed to collapse

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 18:36:47 GMT

Where do I start? I guess first and formost I am again job searching, I was fired. I believe the makings for this have been in process for a while, and I did something stupid and instead of being written up as is the usual thing, I was terminated. I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles. I have spent the last four days going over every classified ad I could find to little avail. I am hardly in a location to find anything near by, and everything near by is exactly the same as the one I had before, nevertheless I am putting in applications, and sending out resumes. Naturally I am hoping to get one of the secretarial positions, or typing positions that I applied for, however I realize even with my inate ability to type very fast with a good deal of accuracy... I realize the chance of me being hired for any job without having prior experience or a college degree is pretty much hopeless, reguardless I still put my best foot forward and hope for the best.

I am applying for student loans and tring to get into a night nursing school either way. I've decided instead of sitting and waiting for the court system to give me a break so I can finally have the money to go to school, I'll have to show the system that I am willing to go the extra mile and step forward myself. I am pretty convinced that with the education pending, and a part time job the courts will be more willing to reduce the child support so I will finally be able to afford a student loan in the first place. The only question is, even with my boyfriend offering to help me immensly... Can I afford the time it takes for the system to pull it's head out of it's ass and finally give me the reduction I should have had in the first place? Having child support increased isn't a problem, however to have it reduced, well that's another story - no matter your circumstances. Even if you wake up dirt poor with nothing, like I practically am, the wheels still turn slow. Not to say justice will not eventually come, but you might be an ignorant spinster living with your parents long before they finally say "Yes, you're poor, here's what you should be paying." But maybe time is on my side.

The silver lining to this cloud is the job was a downhill spiral anyway, the hours I worked prohibited me from going to school, plus the hours were speratic so I couldn't set up any plans for anything. I lived week to week, and never had much time for myself despite the days being stretched for long distances. Furthermore since they always wanted nights and weekends, finding a second job was impossible... Though a second job would certainly remove any chance I had for an education anyway. So, like I said... There is a silver lining to this cloud. Though I will certainly miss some of the regular customers. At least I ended the job on a good note with the manager and can expect a good review from her, she really wanted to keep me but it just didn't work out that way. A good reference though, is always nice for employment. With her, Deb, Kate, and a few others I should be able to get something better paying and more plauseable for school.

Anyway, more good news... It's finally spring! Well, it finally feels like it anyway. I actually managed to get outside and play with Malibu for a bit the other day, I've even got a slight tan on arms and legs, though it looks sort of like a farmers tan due to the fact that it isn't quite bikini weather... Though Friday I might have to break out the bikini. :D We'll see. I find that I am happiest with my face in the sun, and the warm rays covering me from head to toe. I am truly a summer girl, and wish I could live in a much more appealing climate. Everyone asks, "Well, why don't you move?" I usually say "I can't afford too." Which I always get the same, "Well, if you really wanted too you could." answer. Well I do really want too, but I also really want security. I do not like the idea of moving without the right financial backing because I am afraid of ending up in a financial situation worse then I'm already in now. Furthermore the only reason I have made it this far on my own is because I am really not "on my own", I have a boyfriend, parents, siblings, and friends that are helping me out A LOT. It is their emotional and financial support that has kept me from losing my mind and just screaming "THROW ME IN JAIL THEN, BECAUSE I GIVE UP." They keep me grounded, and until I have the money where I know I will not need someone to come jump start my car because it has a weak battery, or until I can wake up and not have to worry about making payments for car insurance and other general bills (let alone the real ones like electric and rent that the boyfriend is paying) how can I step out into the world? I know who I am, and I know given the right amount of pressure without enough support... I will collapse.

www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - Updates

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:25:11 GMT

General Info: APRIL FOOLS! Another month has come to a close, I guess the highlights have been a Concert for Hurt, that turned out to be a huge disapointment. Tim and I's 3 year anniversery (officially yesterday March 31st), and a good time had with some locals for this very event. Having a resident pass at the local nursing home I sometimes volunteer for, she was 83. I have started two new art projects, "Mira Sorvino 2" I was not pleased with the first one I attempted at all, and "Passionate Kisses" which is Anime Fan Art of InuYasha and Kagome kissing. :D Aww, I know, I am such a sucker for love, romance, and all that hoop-la. I have yet to scan any of my work with my scanner, however I did finish "Leah Remini", "Let the bodies...", and of course "Mira Sorvino" already this year. If I continue at this rate I actually might beat my 2006 record not only with the amount of art done, but also the quality of that artwork.

Up-And-Coming Art Pieces: Kelly Labrock (Woman from "Weird Science") And two of my fotki Friends, the beauties Katie and Tiff. :D

Poetry: Title: the ghost you left behind
Originally Written: march 31, 2008
dedicated to: Harriet Sauter

Your room still holds the memory of you
Woven in the wood floors and the bed
I keep seeing inside and through
Feeling all the tears we've shed.
There is no doubt in my mind
It's the ghost you left behind.

You will always be in our heart
Forever to hold you dear
Through this end may you start
Going forward without fear
Preparing to finally find
That your ghost is not left behind.

But know, and always know
That we keep the angel in red
To remind us of you and show
That all who stay in your bed
Will be watched by a kind
ghost who is left behind.
More poems to be added over the next few days, so stay tuned! (I have about ten new poems over all)

New ArtworkNew Pictures (Fotki and Deviant stuff)Me Holding
My Artwork

For more of the black and white webcam faces: click here

To view more of the webcam faces/my webcam artwork pics: click here
Check my yahoo group for new "exclusive" photos of me: click here

nipplemaniea's Xanga

latest activities consist of jack and ...

www.beautifullyhorrible.net updates

babies and stuff

*updates* www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - video

www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - Updates

Good Court : Good People

Kitten Sittin'

Mudfest 2008

as oposed to collapse

www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - Updates

updates www.BeautifullyHorrible.net - video